When I started my blog and had the first articles out one of my friends one day told me that she can’t understand how I could write so openly about personal things and if I weren’t aware that this is the internet and everyone can read this. To be honest I was quite shocked.
Of course I knew and was very much aware of what I was doing. How could she doubt this? What was she thinking of me? That I’m one stupid nutcase who hasn’t realized that a blog is a very public place?
But thinking about it some more this was not what was so awful about her criticism. What really got to me was that between the lines she told me that my personality, my feelings are something better kept hidden and locked away. Needless to say, we aren’t friends anymore.
But apart from myself – and believe me, I consider carefully what I write about and how, and what I put out so that no one gets hurt – apart from what we tell and don’t every day, haven’t we since long come to a point where we rarely show our true selves? Isn’t a lot we talk about, even if it’s about such personal matters like sex, nothing but running away from what truely matters to us and moves us? And why is this so? What do we fear?
What can happen if you let others know what is going on inside of you, what you feel? Asking around I got about the same answer many times in many different words: the fear of getting hurt, of rejection. It seems as if opening up would somehow make us more vulnerable. As if showing ouselves were an invitation for others to destroy us. But is that so?
If you show someone your deep feelings, yes, maybe it will not be mutual. And maybe the other one won’t understand to be careful now, to let you know that the feelings are not returned without rejecting you completely. But should this keep you from offering the gift?
What happens if you close in your feelings and not let anyone know? What kind of lonely place will you be in then? How many chances will you blow? Chances to become happy? Chances for love? Just because someone might be so insensitive or so afraid of his/her own feelings that he/she laughs about You?
Yes, this will hurt, and if your feelings for this person are deep it will hurt like hell. It will get you burned badly but that doesn’t mean you’re going to die. It will take time but you will recover from it. But more importantly, showing your feelings is being true to yourself. And it might even give the other one the strength and courage to walk the road of fear and open up, too.
At the end of the day, feelings are all life is about. It’s not your house, your car, your job, your money, your riches what make you who you are. It’s what you feel, who you are inside. Forget about that transitory beauty of youth that is only skin deep and look at the ageless beauty within. There is no reason why you shouldn’t show that beautiful, kind and colorful soul that lives within your body. If you realize that your feelings are nothing to fear but on the contrary they are your key to the gates of the world no one will be able to destroy you.
So, fear is no argument. Chin up, deep breath. It’s never too late to tell someone “you’re the only one”…