The Janus Head – Stirring a little Truth into the Soup

Let’s stir a little truth into the soup because I’m sick and tired of all this pretending and especially the Janus heads. I think it’s time to grab truth with bare hands and shove it into the spotlight.

It’s been more than six years now that I use social media on a regular basis. And all the time I played along. But enough is enough, and I think a little truth can and should now be stirred into that soup we’re all brewing together.

We all. Yes. All of us cheerful, kind, funny, positive, supportive people. Aren’t we a bunch of lovelies?

Yes, we certainly are until you dare to look behind the façade – or to stay with my metaphor – into the boiling soup and watch the Janus heads pop up in the bubbles. And this is exactly what I want to do right now. I think it’s time to talk about private messages, direct messages, Facebook messenger, … In short: It’s time to shine a light where it’s ugly and be outspoken about it.

Obviously I can only share my own experiences here and a little of what people I really know I can trust told me about theirs. And it’s more than ugly. But who am I telling this to? You probably know.

In those six years plus I’ve seen so much lies and betrayal that I more than once thought about deleting all my social media accounts. There were promises made in direct messages and broken in real life. There were compliments tweeted and accompanied by bitching about the same person in a Facebook group that person doesn’t belong too and doesn’t speak the language of because they are from a different mother tongue. There was so much lying by omission that you could fill the Atlantic Ocean with what was not said on Twitter but on Facebook regarding the same person and her work.

I, myself, have been accused, bullied, mobbed and insulted for nothing but probably jealousy. I’ve been ghosted and this way humiliated in front of others for no reason I could possibly comprehend, and maybe just because someone could do it, maybe just because I’ve been a toy for vanities and ego that at a certain moment of time wasn’t necessary or interesting anymore. (And being who I am I still hope part of it only happened because the ghoster was thoughtless – but in all honesty how likely is that?)

For a long time now I played along, played my normal cheerful, kind, supportive self as if nothing ever happened. As if I don’t care. Maybe once in a while my hurt shone through in my tweets.  Even if I did my best to hide it. But I do care. I always do. Maybe more than I should. More about others than about myself (the probable reason for having gotten myself in all of this mess).

But summing it up it is the best part about me: I care.

So, here is my truth: All the accusations, the bullying, mobbing, even the insults didn’t do much damage to me. Because I know who I am. The lies only earned my contempt for the traitors and regret for the person who probably still has no clue about what the “fans” and “friends” said and say.

It’s time to shout this loud and clear. It’s time to stir all the truth in and cook my own soup, not theirs. Because I want them to know if they thought I’m stupid and don’t get it, they underestimated me. And because I don’t belong where I’d end up otherwise: amongst the liars and traitors.

There is hope they’ll read this and think twice before they start that cruel game on someone else. Someone who can’t take it like I did, who’ll get damaged badly, maybe even destroyed.

Think twice before you lie, betray, bully, mob, ghost just because it’s so easy to be a coward, nasty and mean on the internet where you don’t actually have to “face” your victim.

You think what can happen? Being unfollowed? Unfriended? And that that’s a laugh? Well, think twice. The universe has a law of its own:

Whatever you inflict on someone else will fire back on you one day.


(And to be just and fair: The promises, made and broken, the ghosting, the playing with my emotions, this has really gotten under my skin because I deeply care. )




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