Birgit und Heike im Fahrstuhl

The Bleeding Heart

Who would have thought that it’s not the amount of time you spent together that matters in the end? The bleeding heart knows. At least mine does. Since early childhood death is a constant companion in my life. I’ve lost all the family I ever had to it. And I know no matter how tenacious

Siegessäule

Standing Still

Sometimes I come across something on the internet that makes me think. Like that picture of someone standing still in front of a sort of maschine with many buttons and lamps and the advice to keep your hands in the pocket if you don’t know which button to push. And maybe what started my thoughts

Dare to Love Ms. Not-Perfect

I’m Ms. not-perfect, a misfit, a rebel with a cause. I grew up to the sermon “you’ll never get anywhere, you’re no good, you won’t achieve a thing”. It took me half a life to understand that these words repeatedly spoken by my father were rooted in his own sad and punishing feeling of inadequacy,

The Color of Fear

Fear. What a complex emotion. It comes in so many different colors and shades that sometimes it’s hard to grab. Sometimes it’s even harder to understand what and why we fear. It starts when we are babies. Completely helpless we cry when we wake up all alone, when we are left in a crib somewhere.

Love Is Not Safe

How deep is your love? Do you open your heart? Do you dare to face the fear that comes with allowing yourself to love? Do you walk into this frighteningly dark room where you let someone love you? What is it that makes us so afraid of the one thing we want like nothing else

Life is Short

Life is short. Maybe this year I have been too surrounded by sickness and death, the latter seemingly looming at every corner, grinning at me with fiery eyes. Maybe. Maybe it’s this thing called midlife crisis with me turning 50 only a heartbeat away? Maybe. Whatever it is, it makes me think. And no matter

When Death Wins

When we lose someone dear it affects different parts of our life. It teaches us a thing or two. It shifts our perspective on life. It might even change who we are. The last two months I accompanied the slow death of my mother. I saw her slowly fade away, and had to take decisions

The Emotional Roller Coaster Ghost Train

Life is a persistent thing. The human body can be old and sick since years, the soul and mind unwilling to live on, the person eating and drinking so little it seems impossible to keep the spark of life simmering… Still death has to battle and struggle hard to win. It’s scary to watch, so